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time is fabricated [Aug. 23rd, 2008|11:30 pm]
[Current Location |toms]
[Current Mood |curiouscurious]
[Current Music |radiohead]

almost a quarter of century old.

i have read back on the entries.
not much has changed in my train of thoughts. patterns, old habits.
wiser? sure.
put into practice? no.

did you ever think you would never feel a out of body connection with someone?
i was convinced it was all theory, talked up by the dreamers.

i found it.
it is visual for me.
an lsd trip.
haven't decided if it's able to be replicated in the future with a better canidate.
why would i want to take that risk.

living for the here and now.
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implosions [Mar. 25th, 2006|11:08 am]
[Current Mood |disappointeddisappointed]

that is the description of my life.
he is not the type to say he is sorry. instead he blows up and leaves you feeling worthless.
he is not the type to ever bring flowers. instead he buys himself drugs.
on a birthday, he bought a gift for himself.
he doesn't pretend to miss.
he doesn't listen, only talks. and never about feelings.
he only touches if his loins are burning.

in four years:
i have gained 40 pounds, lost all self-esteem. sacraficed braincells.
chosen quality time instead of school.
risked VERY unwanted pregnancy.
have taking unhealthy horemones.
lost motivation.
lost self-love.

i am done.

yup [Oct. 13th, 2005|03:14 pm]
got a pup named boscoe.
work at petco.
having an interesting time.
how are all of you??
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will not will not let me go [Sep. 21st, 2005|12:22 am]
i think i need something.

oh wait i know what it is.

someone should give me a chi pup.

that would cure my maternal needs.

still floating.

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this is my life [Sep. 9th, 2005|12:45 am]
i just started at petco and i love it. i get to see very sweet dogs allll day long!
i love it.
and i make commission. and i work alot. so weeeeeeeeee.

Travis's and I's little buddy passed away last friday.

he was just one month shy of turning that age of good ol 18.
he was always sweet and quite mischevious.
but he will be missed hard and forever.

sadly though it just reminds me of the people i still ache for....my dad..kelly, jack. and so on.
so this is the first time travis has lost someone he cared for. so he is showing me some human emotion.

tommorow is the viewing. i hope they let kid look like himself. he was pretty hot.

so basically once again, i realize death is always lurking in the corners.

oh, and my uncle is in NewOrleans volenteering his firefighter/emt skills. crazy.

later dudes and dudettes

tonight [Aug. 19th, 2005|06:45 pm]
North I-5
Olive Way Exit 166
slight right onto Olive Way
Right onto Melrose AVE
Right onto Pike

sunday-me driving to montana.
and then who knows.
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crash into me real hard [Aug. 11th, 2005|12:34 am]
um driving to hilltop to pick up travis, and we are on river road.
my tire wooshes out it's last breath of life and goes flatline.
um. sitting on river road around midnight, not so fun.
not working tommorow and scrapping up more invisible money? seemingly impossible.
and that is life for me.

still drowning.
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yes, i do cry on the outside [Jul. 31st, 2005|01:52 pm]
[Current Mood |contemplativecontemplative]

all the time.
thanks to man-made whoremones.

so i have had a slight career change.

instead of saving people for the adreniline rush...........i have decided to

groom dogs.


because i love dogs, perhaps dogs and serial killers are my main intrests in life.
i don't choose it.
it just is.

so don't giggle out loud when you read that i want to clip dog nails, and make em look clean and nice.
i do like cutting my own hair.........why not a dogs?
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ooowoah [Jul. 19th, 2005|07:19 pm]
[Current Mood |contentcontent]
[Current Music |weezer~the green albulm]

this is for the gods that control my life..........

fuck off,

see you in hell.

just kidding, im pretty content.....slightly.
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waiting on the red light [Jul. 14th, 2005|06:14 pm]
i want to make excuses.

just shut up.

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